Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Me Monsters

At the conference I went to a couple of weeks ago, Vicki Courtney spoke on raising narcissistic children, or "me monsters" as she referred to them.   In a quick summary, she discussed the importance of having a God-centered home and not a child-centered home, the importance of putting God first, your husband second and your children third, and letting your children deal with the consequences of their poor choices.  

A lot of people {including myself} buy into what the world thinks a good mother should be.  Some examples might include throwing elaborate birthday parties or buying them anything and everything they want for Christmas.  All this is doing is feeding their inner "me monster" and raising them to think it's all about them.

"Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself" Philippians 2:3

I definitely don't want to raise Addi to become a "me monster".  It's VERY easy for me to give into things she wants, but i'm trying to stay strong and set up boundaries.  I have been around kids who rule their parent's house and run around like wild banshees and it makes me realize the importance of rules and boundaries.   I want her to be respectful of other adults and not to interrupt me when I'm talking to someone else.  I want her to love others and not think she is better than anyone else.

I hate to say this, but it's so easy for me to make things all about Addi and just ignore Brad b/c i'm so wrapped up in her.  Date nights are going to become a regular thing in the Alston household.  Even if it's just us letting Addi stay with one of her grandparents and us coming back home to watch a movie together, it's going to happen more often.  One thing that Vicki said that really stuck out was, we need to be friends with our husbands b/c one day our children are going to leave and it will just be us two left and you want to know the person you are living with!

I'm determined to teach her that Christmas is more about giving than it is receiving.  We will focus on Jesus more than the presents. Yes, we will still have "Santa" and it will be a time of fun, but that's not going to be our main focus.  

Most importantly, I want Addi to love Jesus with her whole heart and desire to do His will.  I want her to be a disciple and share Him with others!

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" Proverbs 22:6


  1. I know that this is a message that God is really trying to get across to people lately because I have been feeling this in my Spirit as well. Thanks for sharing. Maybe we can help each other! It is hard to not put them (kids) first sometimes!

    1. I'm glad i'm not the only one who deals with this! Thanks for commenting :)